Memories

2012-01-16T12:27:00.003+08:00

Communication fails when only one person is speaking, and the other person not listening or vice versa.

Sometimes in the midst of a conversation, are we really listening to what the other person is trying to tell us? Or are we so distracted by the things around us that everything falls on deaf ears?

It's the same in a prayer. Sometimes we just keep on talking but how many times do we actually listen? How many times do we stop asking because God just wants us to listen to what He is trying to tell us?

Learn from Samuel, lying down and just listened in the silence when God called him. To say "Speak Lord, for your servant is listening" whenever you hear Him call you in the wilderness.

For the love of chemistry

2012-01-09T14:22:00.006+08:00

Do you know why oil form a big round droplet in water?

I once thought that oil interact with each other by hydrophobic interaction. Seems like that's not the case.

Water likes interacting with each other, so they exclude oil.

A fact learnt in CHM361 that I'll never forget. An application of chemistry in our daily lives.

Farewell 2011

2012-01-01T03:37:00.006+08:00

Things change, people change; whether we accept it or not.

As I looked back on this very last day of 2011, things happening in my life for the past 21 years had not all been amazing. Despite that, I am very thankful they were the way they were. Both unpleasant and pleasant memories shaped me for who I am now.

For the wonderful things in life, my family and friends, a simple thank you is not enough but I hope it will do for now.

Happy New Year 2012! I hope that everyone will be happy and satisfied, to know when to hold onto and let go of things.

Things change, people change; whether we accept it or not BUT, MEMORIES STAY THE SAME and love always wins.

2011, like any other years, will always remain in my heart.

Goodbye 2011 and hello 2012!

S.A.D

2011-12-30T08:31:00.012+08:00

It's winter again. The look of white snow everywhere is just depressing, especially when you were just back from a warm place like Orlando.

I cannot describe what I am feeling now. Depressed is not enough. I guess it's a case of S.A.D again

I really missed Disneyworld and Universal Studios.

What was it that I missed about Disneyworld you would ask? I'm not quite sure myself. Yes, I am in a state of confusion.

Maybe it's because I know that I will not be going there again. Maybe it's because of the pretty and amazing musicals, shows, parades and fireworks that I witnessed. Maybe, just maybe for certain reasons I cannot uncover now.

However, I did not feel Christmas there, despite the decorations, music and the large crowds of people, for Christmas was not meant to be that way. To be lost in a sea of people and yet still feel lonely, you know the reason why.

I went on a lot of scary rides in Universal Studios and Disneyland. I used to wonder why people love scary rides. Now I know. They love the adrenaline pumping in their bodies, the excitement and surprise the rides bring them.

School's going to reopen soon on 2 Jan. At least I can keep myself busy with something. Till then, I hope winter won't get me down

希望

2011-07-13T15:19:00.003+08:00

有时，最好不要拥抱希望，因为希望导致更大的失望.

因为我觉得害怕会失望, 所以我不想拥抱希望.

我现在只能祈祷, 祈求上帝帮实现我的要求.

S-U-M-M-E-R

2011-07-13T14:05:00.010+08:00

Foooohh, a real long getaway!! 2 months i suppose...I'll roughly tell you what's up so far......

It's the first summer of my life. The weather here is not much different from what I experienced back in Malaysia. Hot, and HUMID.

My 2nd year in Mississauga flipped by and I am entering third year soon. I used to complain how slow time had been for me, but now, I would like to slow it down a little bit. Guess humans are always like that. I have just entered 2nd semester of summer school. If you are wondering what course I am taking, it's Chinese and Management.

And people will usually wonder why I would want to take Chinese. I'd like to read and write, though i doubt I'd be able to recognise characters on PPStream after this. Maybe 20%....or less. But, nevertheless, the class is fun.

My boxy chinese characters

I am volunteering for Bikeshare (an organization on campus that provides bike rentals to UTM students) and I also biked a little. I will do more these few days before it starts getting cold again. I also volunteered for Canadian Cancer Society in June for Relay for Life. It was tiring as I didn't sleep the whole night, but it was nice to see people fighting for their loved ones, who are suffering, had died or recovered from cancer.

The luminaries in memory of...

I also went to Missi's Carassauga Festival, all about diversity and the cultures of multinations. Too bad they didn't have Malaysia this year. The best would be Hawaii with their performances in coconut shells.

And also, it's the first BIGGER celebration for wei wei (my housemate) on her birthday too.

The oreo birthday cake

I also went to Centre Island in downtown Toronto for Dragon Boat festival, but ended up visiting the booths that were there and later in the evening, crammed into a karaoke room in Toronto.

In a dragon boat on display

In a mini theme park on Centre Island, Toronto

Malaysian Murtabak on Centre Island

Super Junior's Sorry Sorry Chinese Version

Panorama of Toronto from ferry

In short, summer courses are fun and relaxing, as compared to fall-winter school time when the timetable is packed full.

Summer time is also a time where I learnt a lot of things, where I find my long lost self, at least the person that I once knew still exists.

There are more to come. Canada's wonderland, for instance. I hope I can overcome my fear of height and speed and take Behemoth, Canada's biggest, fastest and tallest roller coaster. Even a ferris wheel ride used to freak me out (or probably still does). Well, I'll have my fingers crossed for now.

2011-04-13T23:59:00.003+08:00

A lot of things complement each other. How one thing cannot function without the other.

Just like a table and a chair. One cannot go without the other. Size matters too. A tall chair won't fit a short table and the other way round.

Just like a lock and a key. Not all keys can open a lock. The little teeth matter.

What is a radio without speakers, a car without wheels, a bed without mattress.

Most importantly, who am I without you.

2011-04-04T03:02:00.000+08:00

It was something simple, something really simple that made my day

2011-03-24T12:56:00.004+08:00

Identified victim: Lilian Wong

Crime scene: SB 2074

Estimated time of death: 11am-12pm

Cause of death: Excessive bleeding

Main suspect: The one and only, Mr. Organic Chemistry

2011-03-15T12:06:00.000+08:00

A picture tells a thousand words

2011-03-15T11:56:00.003+08:00

I got myself a bottle of wine yesterday, make that my FIRST bottle of wine.

I am not an alcoholic, mind you.

Waited the whole night yesterday until after dinner to taste a sip of it

only to realise,

I forgot to buy the wine opener

2011-03-13T07:18:00.002+08:00

*scratch head*

One hour passed...

*scratch head*

Another hour passed..

*scratch head*

3 hours passed...

And then the skies turned grayish-blue and you think, "what have i been doing the whole day?" *scratch head*

The rainbow.

2011-03-03T13:09:00.003+08:00

I want to capture the rainbow. The flawless separation of colours, amazingly captivating

2011-03-02T19:43:00.002+08:00

March....

Spring when are you coming?

Sick of carrying winter jackets here and there.

Can't wait to wear flip flops + shorts

Can't wait to feel the sun.

Can't wait to see the flowers bloom.

Can't wait to feel the rain again.

2011-02-21T13:35:00.001+08:00

I got to distract myself.

Distract. Keep myself busy.

Keep. me. away.

2011-02-14T14:48:00.001+08:00

Something I learnt,

Global warming isn't just about warming of each place on earth. Some might get hotter temperatures, whereas others might experience colder climates.

Total randomness at 2.00 am thanks to geography

First time

2011-02-12T15:01:00.007+08:00

I miss the first time I stepped into kindergarten. The fact that I didn't cry on first days of schools was partly fake. I remember in my second year of kindergarten, seeing my dad leaving me in that small chair (which I would like to go back and have a seat in it) and waving goodbye. I actually felt a big lump in my throat and little tears welling in my eyes. Tears did not fall anyway so the truth was I never cried on first days of school.

I miss the first time I stepped into secondary school. The feeling of being a newbie with lots of hormone-fuming teenagers around me while I was being naive and a goody.

I miss the first time stepping into Taylor's for ICPU and into Casa Subang. Casa Subang was heaven before news start to spread. Meeting new people in ICPU, both that would and would not have the same destiny as I did.

I miss the first time coming to Canada, the excitement that I had, so overwhelming. A place so new, much to discover.

I miss the first time I experienced snow, wearing only a thin sweater and screaming like some drunken crazies at 3.00 am.

If you realised, these are all the first times of my life that I truly cherish and these feelings that I could only recover through my memory. There is always a first time for everything. Some that I don't want to remember, some that I want to relive again.

The list goes on and I'm hoping for more of that feeling.

For the first time....

Lost and found

2011-02-10T11:08:00.006+08:00

My heart stopped. Oops I did it again, I lost my T Card right after the day I nearly lost it.

I searched frantically, right after geography test, traced back my steps to where I sat during test. It was like magic, poof and gone into thin air.

Gone. Gone again.

I had to leave the class for another, so I did a thorough search on the ground.

I walked like a zombie to organic chem class. Can't pay attention and I kept thinking about my T card.

Right after class, I went to the T card office to ask for lost and found. As expected, they told me to come back and check again.

My tummy no longer grumbled so I carried my heavy feet up to the third floor and into the Campus police office.

I had lost hope, but it was worth a try.

I entered, knocked.....said "hi....has anyone turned in any lost T cards?" then swallowed my saliva.

The woman behind the counter asked for my last name, then my first and then my student number.

And like magic she handed over to me THE card.

I heaved a big sigh of relief, happily said thank you and slid out of the room.

I'd really like to know who found it, and where. Curious @@

But whoever it is, thank you very much because you have saved me $3 or more!!!! ^^

2011-01-31T05:11:00.004+08:00

That very night changed me. There was something deep inside of me. Guilt, fear, unbearable pain.

I tried to escape, I wanted to but something whispered to me not to be afraid, not to be ashamed.

And suddenly it dawned on me that I had to do this. It's been some time already, 5 years to be exact.

We all gathered in that chapel. It seemed different that night. Father Hansoo started speaking about surrendering. The same message he delivered one time at a mass at St Ignatius Loyola. However it hit me real hard this time.

Surrendering. Surrending to God.

I refused. I was ashamed.

When 'Here I am Lord' started playing, tears just ran freely from my eyes. I felt His presence embracing me slowly, cuddling me and I realised all He wanted me to do was to say "Here I am, a sinner".

One by one, people started picking up tissues and went out.

I looked up to the cross in front of me and remembered what Father Damian said

"I looked at Him, He looked at me,

and I looked at Him, and He looked at me

and I looked at Him, and He looked at me."

and I felt true love, so I stood up and went.

The feeling after everything was done was overwhelming. I cried still.

After I calmed myself down, I looked back at what I've done and I no longer felt pain, no longer ashamed.

It was really a burden lifted off my chest.

5 years for everything to accumulate.

Like Father Hansoo said, confession's analogy is like keeping your room clean.

Why do you clean your room? Because you don't want things to accumulate and got hidden.

When big things cover those little things, you won't be able to see the little things that are hidden under big things.

And this is why we need to consistently clean the room so that little things won't accumulate to big things.

At 2.00am, I knelt in the chapel alone, knowing that I am loved just the way I am, no matter what I did and what I will do.

2011-01-29T10:55:00.003+08:00

It feels nice to pour out what you welled inside of you. I guess it'll feel better to tell it to the person you intended to tell it to, or maybe not.

Chinese New Year is coming soon but not so lucky this year, I have tests one day before and on the first day of CNY.

CNY just makes home sick even home sicker!!

And CNY with snow around you just doesn't make you feel like CNy at all.

I'll just have to stand seeing CNY with snow for 2 more years

2010-12-27T22:07:00.003+08:00

I overheard a conversation in church, a very meaningful one.

Just behind my pew, a mother and a daughter were sitting and waiting for the mass to commence. The daughter said, in an anticipating voice, "Where is Jesus? How do I see him?"

The mother replied, "You have to BELIEVE to see him. And when you grow up and you truly believe, you will see him."

A simply reply, yet a hard one to do. How deep is your faith?

2010-12-27T12:46:00.008+08:00

26 December 2010

It's Boxing Day today and I walked totally aimlessly around Eaton Centre amidst the huge crowd just banging you off your shoulders. These people are crazy!! I wanted to enter Abercrombie & Fitch and when I saw the line, I nearly fainted.

I had nothing in mind this year. Nothing struck me as interesting either. It was nice just to window shop and see others shop so I had fun too. Eaton centre had this huge christmas tree with all the Swarovski bling blings on it.

So far this winter break, I lost count the number of times I went downtown. I tried to make it less miserable but it still is. *hiak hiak*

I went...

1. The bata shoe museum

Lots of shoe history inside. Some really swept me off my feet. How shoes represented the different ranking in society and how they differed with religions.....etc.

2. Royal Ontario Museum aka ROM

ROM had so many things to see. Didn't have enough time to see them all so will make a second trip there....woohoo...my favourite....dinossss!!!

They reminded me of what I used to learn in BIO 153.

3. CN Tower @ night

I guess I went at the wrong time but nevertheless, it was amazingly stunning with lights flickering at the horizon.

full moon in toronto

I am here at this hour because of insomnia. ARghhhh....good night people.

2010-11-25T09:28:00.004+08:00

4.59pm

I decided to shut down my laptop. Brain jammed. Headed towards Student Centre and into the faith sharing room.

Oriana shared a beautiful story so I would like to share it here, whether or not you've heard of this before.

There was this woman, she dreamt of Jesus saying to her that he's going to her house tomorrow. So the next day, she cleaned her house top and bottom till spotless, cooked luxurious meals and then waited for Jesus to come.

She waited and waited and then came a knock on the door. It was her neighbour asking for help desperately. However, she turned her down, saying she was waiting for Jesus and couldn't leave.

She continued waiting and then came another knock on the door. This time it was her friend coming for a visit. Afraid that her friend might make a mess of her house, she asked her to come another day for she is waiting for Jesus.

Approaching dusk, another knock on the door. This time it was a beggar asking for some food. She shoved the beggar away, not wanting to give a little of the food that she had cooked.

And then she waited, and night fell but Jesus did not come. That night, she dreamt of Jesus again. This time she asked "Why didn't you come? I waited for you and cleaned and cooked." Jesus replied, "I was the neighbour, the friend and the beggar. But you did not invite me in."

This coming Advent, what would you do to prepare yourself for His coming? It's not only pleasing God, but an act of kindness matters too

2010-11-13T13:37:00.002+08:00

Things are starting to get busier again.

Status of brain now: as blurry as the fog that lands in Mississauga today.

Not everything ends with a perfect note, but at least everything ends on a note.

Thank you all these while

2010-11-04T02:33:00.003+08:00

Autumn

It's really pretty to see trees changing colours, especially those burning red and striking yellow against an almost black branch.

At the same time, it's kind of sad to see leaves dropping off so fast, revealing all that the tree has, nothing but it's own trunk.

Happy Thanksgiving

2010-10-11T22:15:00.004+08:00

It's Thanksgiving today in Canada....Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!

The best thing is that it's holiday today. At least I get to have my break. Ever since I had class on Saturday, it feels like my weekend is just left with Sunday =(

Ah well, we had a celebration of Thanksgiving last night, the Korean way. Now who says turkey is a must on thanksgiving? I hate turkeys.....for some reasons =)

Pork belly BBQ with kimchi

And of course with Soju

Ja Jiang mian

The food was nice and so was the feeling of drinking soju, though the rest said it tasted like disinfectant XD. I have taste problem, seriously.

Before I stop writing I have something to share from my church bulletin and here it goes

Let us be thankful....

Let us be thankful for the blessings we receive
Let us be thoughtful of others.

Let us remember dear and close friends
Ler us have faith in tomorrow

Let us live life as a Golden Rule
Let us find sunlight through the clouds
Let us believe

Liet us be the people we have the ability to be
Let us have understanding

Ler us say the thanks in prayer
To God, for the gifts He has give.

For everyday that He has given me and for everything around me, good or bad. THANK YOU!!!

Take a look at your heart

2010-10-09T05:19:00.008+08:00

It's really hectic these few days, downpour of midterms and assignments and lab reports. Nevertheless, I'm trying my best to enjoy every moment of it, despite sleepless nights that turned my eyes "panda-ry"

It was a really crazy night last night and I was rushing to get over what I've procrastinated the whole week, my Bio lab report. Slept at 6.30am, woke up for class at 10am. I hope I can finish my chem report before midnight tonight.

I love Bio labs though. Last week I had my heart beats measured. It felt kind of fun, with electrodes stuck on you, never knowing when you'll get electrocuted.

Seeing your own heart beat is like an expecting mother seeing her own ultrasound scan (okay, maybe I exaggerated a little).

Looks pretty normal eh? Wait till you label every segment and you will go "Alamak..."

You see, different people have different heartbeats. People in love will have an ECG diagram like this...

And if you're in LOVE with Macs, you'll see an ECG like this...

So, my main point is that, my ECG looked like neither, so I'm not in love and I don't love Macs. XD. I find this diagram interesting and funny though, how an ECG component corresponds to school life and it looks soooo true!!

So how's your heart like? Whatever it is, I sure hope it's not a straight line =) dup dup dup dup..

2010-09-23T11:54:00.004+08:00

Sometimes, the obvious answer is there.

And with quite a high percentage of certainty I could just say it's correct.

But why am I refusing to believe? Why do I persist that the answer is wrong? Why am I accepting the smaller percentage instead of the larger one?

People say this kind of feeling arises from intuition. That's the funny part, my intuition tells me to follow the more obvious answer but some part of me just want to take the road less travelled.

I might get hurt, I might break down but there's a part of me that would like to trample that ground again.

Am I even sure? The future seems so bleak, but wait a minute, since when is a future clear? It's worth a try, or is it not?

The first day of class and....

2010-09-08T09:06:00.004+08:00

1. The printer broke down so I ended up not having any notes to bring to class....which made me feel bored because I had nothing to scribble on and thus leading to....

2. Sleepiness in class, to be exact in every class and then it led to

3. Doodles....

Wondering how I'll survive this semester

A sunday in Mississauga

2010-09-06T09:37:00.005+08:00

9.43am : *Gasp* I just realised I was late for the 6E bus. So I ran downstairs only to find my landlord calling me 'loser' (his way of greeting us).

9.48am : *Waiting at bus stop* Totally late for the bus. After accepting the truth, I started walking down Ballyclare Dr. It was really blustery and my jacket nearly got blown away. The houses along the streets were all very pretty, but I just hate the strong wind blowing in my face.
I finally reached my church after 10 minutes of speedy walking. I went to have a look at this new church in the neighbourhood. But I guess I still prefer the St Ignatius Loyola.

After mass was done, I had a walk back, but this time a leisure walk. It was pretty nice even though the sun was quite high in the sky already. Was about to walk back home when I suddenly had a crazy idea of walking in the opposite direction towards Erindale Park.

So I walked, and walked...

You see, Erindale Park is really nice

You can go to have picnic or bbq

Or you can have some family time there

Flying kites

Fishing

Or be like me, having a walk while taking photos at the same time

It was a wonderful day for a walk

2010-09-04T22:13:00.004+08:00

Early morning and it's quiet, only noises from the landlord downstairs.

I'm feeling pretty cold right now. It's funny how few days ago I was browsing through every aisle in Walmart looking for a fan and now it's cold. Oh well, or else there won't be a simile called 'as fickle as the weather'.

Few days of unpacking and I think I'm almost there. Mind you it's not because that I have lots of stuff that it takes me few days. I don't know why it takes me so long either.

Have been doing a lot of shopping but I ended buying stuff that I don't need.

School's starting soon and things are going to get busier, which reminds me of the books I need to buy later. I hope I can achieve more from this year.

Tata~

Note to self : Learn mind control XD

2010-08-04T09:02:00.002+08:00

You know that feeling inside you. The lost of communication...

You have something to say but your throat is croaked dry.

You feel like writing it down, probably easier than saying it out, but your fingers are stiffened like arthritis.

Or maybe some body language or expression can help convey your message, but the other person never gets it.

Then you just give up. Period.

Silence

2010-07-05T23:22:00.003+08:00

Absolute silence. My hearing was minimized and I could hardly hear. All I could feel was my heart thumping repeatedly in a chaotic beat against my chest.

Even writing this now, I can barely hear. Something is wrong with my left ear AGAIN.

Only at times like this do I realise how people feel when they lose their hearing. To put it in a general way, how people feel when they lose an ability they got so used to everyday.

While waiting for my airplane to arrive in KK's terminal, I seated myself behind two elderly couple on wheelchairs. Without realising much, I opened Dan Brown's Angels and Demons and was oblivious with my surrounding until an anouncement blared over the whole departure lounge.

A guy stood up and started pushing one of the disabled couple. It suddenly struck me that how life is when you cannot walk. Having a part of your body but having no control over it is devastating.

When I was in the plane, I guess the pressure was too high that my ears were both blocked. Oh well that's pretty normal. However, after several swallows of water and slightly before the plane landed, my eardrums hurt, felt like they were being pierced. Now that, was pretty abnormal.

And so back to the beginning of my story, I was surrounded by absolute silence and I prayed, hard.

I prayed that I will not lose my hearing. That I can be able to hear the lovely sounds of nature and of God's creation again.

And it dawns on me, how I treasure things only when I am about to lose them.

A walk at the beach

2010-06-04T23:45:00.006+08:00

I just love the beach.

Looking at the water rolling up the sands just soothes my mind. In addition to that, it just reminds me how beautiful God's creation is.

Miri beach

And I love to watch the sunset. The streaks of orangy sunlight overpowering the sky, stretching out its lovely waves to everyone there.

The beach is a place of relief, just by listening to the sounds of waves crashing against the shore.

Despite what people said about the beach, about what occurs every 3 years, I find myself rejoicing at the thought of a trip to the beach.

So what do you say? Would you join me for a walk along the beach?

2010-05-01T19:25:00.003+08:00

The day I've been looking forward to has finally arrived.

I've only slept for 2 hours and 30 minutes approximately. My eyes feel tired but I am pretty alert now, listening to Konayuki ^^ as the sun slowly creeps out.

When I was lying down just now trying to sleep, a lot of things ran through my mind.

Seems like there are a lot of things that I would like to do during this break. But, will I be able to do them all?

There are also changes that I would want to make, self reflections and self improvement. Will I be able to do so? It's always easier said than done. How much discipline will I have to give myself to push forward?

A lot of things can happen within a day, needless to say within 4 months.

Geesh I don't even know what I am crapping about.

Anyway, I can smell lovely breakfast in the air. Ham...which sadly isn't for me.

Oh well counting down, roughly 14 hours to flight. Am I even ready????

Memories

2010-04-30T12:50:00.015+08:00

One more day

Another day before heading to the airport and going back to Malaysia. What I can say is that time flies so fast. It felt just like yesterday that I graduated from ICPU, that I just reached
Canada.

ICPU graduation

Now, it's time for juniors to go through the paths that I've been through the past 8 months. Oh man I can't accept this!!!! @@ Time please slow down.....

As I looked back, I wish I could relive the moments, those happy times, back in secondary school back in ICPU.

Secondary school years were those times where I enjoyed fooling around. In Form 1, I was introduced to a school very different from my primary school and enjoyed the 2-week-orientation. I remembered there was one temporary teacher who taught my class BM and left within a week because my class was too noisy.

In Form 2, I met a crazy friend who happened to be my sister's ex-classmate's sister. Yeah..those crazy times at the balcony. I even got punished for being noisy.

There was nothing much in Form 3 that I could think of. I was probably getting a little more serious and less of the running.

In the upper forms, I enjoyed fooling around during spot checks or in laboratories where it wasn't that strict compared to labs in universities now. Somehow I liked those times when I got locked out of Physics Lab for being late too. I missed printing out letters of absence and skipping classes. I enjoyed being a librarian where you get access to all the new books. School concerts which came once a year gave me lots of wonderful memories as well with all the crazy hairstylings and make-ups.

Concert 2007

Prefects' Camp 2006

Prefects' Dinner 2007

In ICPU,

I enjoyed walking every Sunday to church, felt the breeze blowing, the early sunshine and the endless trips to Summit after church. I still think of my room once in a while. I missed Genting trips even though it only lasted for 2 days. I missed going down to the first floor in Casa Subang to eat.

BTN

At Genting

After Genting

Sunday buddies

In Emirates

Sandalwood

There are lots more to describe but the feeling would of course be different. The best thing in life is not heard, seen or touched but felt with the heart.

There are some things that I wished hadn't happened but when I look back now, I am glad they did for they are lifelong lessons for keepsake.

For everything, you'll be in my heart always

2010-04-29T08:32:00.005+08:00

28 April 2010

Another trip to Square One and today Baskin Robbins had great sale??? 31 cents per scoop for from 5pm to 9pm.

So after walking around into Body Shop and Bath and Body Works smelling every scent in there, we walked to the small Baskin Robbins stall where we found a long line of people queuing up already and it's only 4.45pm!!

Like the rest, we tailed behind the long line and waited and waited despite the tired legs.

I got marked on the hand for it too.

After going one round around the shopping complex, we came back to Baskin Robbins again and ordered another two scoops. However the lady at the Baskin Robbins recognised us and told us that we were not allowed to have more than one round of BR...

Well, that's kind of weird. It's business and isn't it better to have more people buying?

Oh well, it's roughly 3 days away before I am flying back....woohoo...paradise here I come. Need a break from the life here.

2010-04-27T16:02:00.003+08:00

26 April 2010

It's 4.02 am and I am still wide awake. No feeling of sleepiness at all. Probably due to oversleeping during the day. Well it's time for me to get used to the time in Malaysia too.

I just finished a drama titled "One litre of tears" a few days ago. It's a really nic e, touching drama. Had lots of values that a lot of people don't realised in everyday life, for instance family, friendship, love and personal values.

Was touched by how their family was pulled together despite everything. When Aya found out she had her incurable disease, they did not give up on her but instead, they supported her and gave her encouragement all the time. Her parents showered their love, providing out of their financial capabilities to support her.

Realised that a lot of people around you can be your friends, but a few really care. A lot of people may laugh with you but only a few who will cry with you in times of sadness and difficulties. Like how Saki complained about Aya...as compared to Mari. The difference really portrayed the different kinds of friends you have in your life.

Was touched by Asou's love for Aya. Once again, Asou and Aya's senior were totally opposite. One abandoned her when he knew she was sick but Asou never left her. Despite her condition, Asou loved her nonetheles, knowing that she won't last long.

Was admiring Aya's determination to live on, despite her sickness. A smart student but ended up being vegetable. It makes you realise too how fragile life can be. Life is unexpected and that is why we should treasure every moment of it. Anything can happen and this is why a little setback shouldn't bring us down for there are worse things that can happen in life. Nobody says life is easy but it can be a happy one depending on the perspective you look at.

One litre of tears.

A touching drama that can really make you cry one litre of tears and is worth rewatching.

2010-04-21T06:29:00.008+08:00

20 April 2010

Today I sat for my last test, Calculus which I sometimes think it sounded like Cactus and it indeed feels like I've been sitting on a cactus since the past few days too. But now, I am OFFICIALLY FREE. Even though I had not much feeling, probably post-exam syndrome (wait, does that even exist?), I feel somehow...good.

Say goodbye to First Year of Life Sciences, and hello soon to the second year, which marks the starting of specialization (Biotech). Geesh, still can't believe it. In two weeks' time I'll be outta here.

A recap of how everything changes since I got here. Adapting took me a really long time. It was really stressful at first but somehow everything turned better in the second semester.

I experienced autumn the first time I got here. Felt really cold even though it was like 16 degrees that time....to me now 16 degrees is hot now....change number 1.

From autumn

To Winter

and now spring!!!

Change number 2: Personal Growth
You began realising more of humans around you. And you came to realise their expectations and their perceptions about you. But when you have heard too much, the whole thing smacks you in your face like a boomerang. So, you begin changing yourself and slowwwwly as time goes by, everything changes and so do I. Positively, I think I am more matured now compared to if I were staying at home. Living with a bunch of people you just came to know required tolerance and well lots of patience because different people have different (should I say) style of living. I learnt to handle things not anymore by compelling not anymore by rejecting. I've grown more spiritually too, realising that no matter what happens, He is there by me all the time because He makes all things beautiful in His time. Therefore, don't judge anyone by their appearance just because they are not beautiful in your eyes, they are still creations of God.

And little bits of changes

Oh well last semester I did not do much but this semester I started looking for some voluteering to do. It satisfies you as much as a big buffet lunch!! Wanted to help the Canadian Cancer Society in selling daffodils but noone replied me. Anyway next time then.

Had more Starbucks this year. Especially during the study week when you have excessive basic dollars and endless trips to the library. And did I tell you how convenient it is to have Starbucks just beside the library. When you are memorising Biology or doing series for Calculus....starbucks help you clear your mind (P/S I did not receive any fees for advertising XD)

Oh well, this was probably my longest post, but I am pretty sure it's because of those pictures that I put up. I will be moving out of Mc Luhan Court soon, in a few days' time. Just like the feeling I had before moving out of Casa, I think this place will be a nostalgic one. Store your dorm just came with their boxes and will be packing real soon.

My room in casa....long time no see...

This is what I bought to BTN...and snacking almost every night....geee

And last but not least I am looking forward to sitting down at the table with my lovely family again....

And now Ida...did you think I have forgotten you? Haha then you are wrong!!! I miss you every second (ok maybe not every second...i guess you'll freak out if I do)....and Tse Yui arhhhh....why you come back sooo late ahhh? But still glad you are back when I am still in Miri. By then don't run away arrr...

Kaihan came today and since Mississauga has nothing much to see, we ended up playing Foozeball in the Student Centre.

But we still ended up having lots of fun =)

Enjoying every moment of exam-free life.....!!!!

Risk

2010-04-18T00:51:00.003+08:00

For two years away from comfort zone, one year experiencing the hectic pace in Kuala Lumpur and coming to one year experiencing the bitter cold weather in Mississauga, I realised that there are a lot of risks to be taken.

Yeah that is it...Risk. Whether you realised it or not, it is there.

For instance, there is a boy or girl that you like, but you do not know if he or she feels the same way as you do but you would want to give it a try. There is the risk, of landing yourself in a heartbreak warfare.

Then when it comes to housing and you realised that you have to choose either way and either way has their own risks.

And if you are investing in something, the outcome might not be what you expected. Risk.

It is there all the time. But what is more important is are you willing to take that risk?

More often, I am indecisive and there is also a risk being indecisive. You get nowhere and are often caught in a dilemma.

Risks. That is what successful people often do. Take risks and if you fall, just get up and probably smile.

Risks. Are you willing?

2010-04-17T10:22:00.006+08:00

16 April

It was after Physics test and everything was quiet. Ok maybe not so, I can hear my neighbour playing guitar and Grace clicking her mouse and some cars booming by the road behind my residence.

Anyway, I can't wait for finals to be over. Have been staying up late, studying and several times sleeping on books, no saliva dripping of course but my books have become my pillow lately.

Oh well, I am currently eyeing on Nicholas Sparks' "The Last Song".

The movie has been released already. I guess I shall watch after finals....woohhoo

Another novel by Sparks' that attracted me a lot..."At First Sight"....

Anticipating for finals to be over soon...*sigh* The subject I hate the most is coming...

2010-04-14T22:11:00.003+08:00

Times and times again, I felt lost, disappointed, hurt and all the negative emotions that you can think of. And times and times again, I keep reminding myself that the Lord will always be by my side and watch over me. Everything has been taken care of, that is the purpose the Lord died on the cross and the reason that he rose from the dead. So I thought i'd share this song - Be not afraid.

Yup, we shouldn't feel afraid when faced with challenges in our daily life, because we have Him.

You shall cross the barren desert,
but you shall not die of thirst.
You shall wander far in safety,
though you do not know the way.

You shall speak your words in foreign lands,
and all will understand,
You shall see the face of God and live.

Be not afraid,
I go before you always,
Come follow Me,
and I shall give you rest.

If you pass through raging waters
in the sea, you shall not drown.
If you walk amidst the burning flames,
you shall not be harmed.

If you stand before the pow’r of hell
and death is at your side,
know that I am with you, through it all

Be not afraid,
I go before you always,
Come follow Me,
and I shall give you rest.

Blessed are your poor,
for the Kingdom shall be theirs.
Blest are you that weep and mourn,
for one day you shall laugh.

And if wicked men insult and hate you, all because of Me,
blessed, blessed are you!

Be not afraid,
I go before you always,
Come follow Me,
and I shall give you rest.

Trust in Him and He'll show you the way

2010-04-09T10:18:00.002+08:00

It's been some time since I last updated my blog.

Well, requested by Ida, I will say something =)

I just finished chem finals today and overall, it was okay but I won't put hopes on it or else, I guess I will fall harder...i just regretted changing my answer last minute and I really don't like that calculator.

Spring is officially here, buds and the smell of flowers. It's funny that the flowers bloom before the leaves. And today it rains, from morning until late evening...and eeekk!!! Earthworms are everywhere and sometimes when you walk, you suddenly felt something squishy beneath you and take a look...woalaa..an earthworm. And i mean for real, they are everywhere!!!!

Hrm...I still have three more tests to go..and roughly 2 weeks before I am finally done with my first year. Geesh, time flies....and I'll be back!!!! yippie...!!!! (Ida I am sure you are reading this, so yay I am back!!!) Ok, nevermind..

Well, gotta get back to Bio...I am slacking way behind...

The know-it-all-machine

2010-03-22T01:23:00.008+08:00

11.26 am

It's still early. The bus wouldn't be here by 11.40 am, I thought so I went into South Common Mall...since it was quite cold and turned my way into the washroom.

There was this weighing machine by the washroom door. But then someone was at the sink so I went into one of the cubicles first.

Then I sneakily went out after I thought that that lady must had left (well not sneakily though, just an exaggeration) and conquered the weighing machine *evil laughs*

And happily I stood on that machine as it told me all the stuff it was supposed to tell with me a quarter.

For instance, lucky number..you can try if you think it will work...luck...*phifft*...I'll be happy enough if this machine can prevent me a heart attack when I check my bank account next time and realised half of my initial sum of money was drained...

This machine can even tell a fortune or so..

It shouldn't be called just weighing machine...it's also fortune telling and get-your-lucky-toto-numbers machine...

I'll tell you if my dreams ever come true...XD

Volunteer and charity

2010-03-10T00:38:00.004+08:00

It always makes you feel nice, to reach out a helping hand. Volunteering and charity.

Last Sunday I had my first volunteer work in my church's St Jude's cupboard, where religious items are sold once a month. At first it felt awkward. Somehow you know how friendly Canadians are. I tried to imagine how I used to enter a shop and embraced by the smile of the storekeeper.

Okay, so I smiled almost all the time, and greeting almost everyone that passed by even though not everyone replied. Well, the smiles and greetings you got back just warmed your heart.

I helped twice, once after the 9.30 mass and another after the 10.30 one. In the end, I was pretty happy with myself. Then I went to Walmart for some things and just outside the store, there was a booth selling and raising funds for breast cancer.

I approached it and bought a keychain and a tac pin and donated the change to the society. The lady at the booth gave me a hug, as a token of appreciation I guess. It took me by surprise but somehow that felt nice.

And I thought to myself, it's two in a row for today =)

Well, that's good for a start. It's both self-satisfaction and lending a helping hand at the same time

guesses

2010-03-04T13:12:00.005+08:00

Sometimes it's really hard to guess what a person is thinking.

Do you know what is in my mind now?

Sometimes you cannot just rely on your intuitions, they might not tell you what you are thinking of. Intuitions are sometimes due to biasness.

Mind reading.

Am I reading the wrong thing all the time?

I wish to know for most of the time, things are just plainly my assumptions.

Maybe I can turn myself into a vampire and read people's mind...hehe...too much vampire diaries

Just like what other people's guesses on what I am thinking, could mine also be wrong?

Maybe or maybe not.

Of abstinence

2010-02-27T04:13:00.004+08:00

How much have you done in the Lenten season?

What is the use of Lenten season some may ask..and this is what it is all about.

Jesus died for the sins of all men so that we can be reunited with God once more. He suffered a lot before his death, praying for 40 days in the wilderness. Thus these 40 days of lent refrain as much as possible from the materials in life.

It is easier said than done. How much have I done in for the past two weeks of Lent. And I came up with nothing. I still gave into temptations.

It is Friday today, a day of abstinence. Even though not necessary but I shall keep that in mind. Refraining from meat and fasting.

Facebook...this is another temptation that I need to overcome. Facebook less.

The thought of the day:

Trust in [God] at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.

-Psalm 62:8 (NIV)

Resist the materialism of life as Jesus did, can you and are you willing?

Spring

2010-02-23T07:07:00.003+08:00

You know it...

Can't you feel it? Spring is coming, oh yeah I can smell pollens in the air already. They are forming, flying, sticking on bees to the female gametophyte...wahahaha...soon it will be blooming flowers everywhere!!! Wahahaha...

Can't you sense it? It's 6pm now and the sky is not as dark as it used to be at this time. Only three words explain this phenomenon. Spring is coming.

Weeha, that means shorts, you are back in business. Goodbye heavy winter jackets, ear muffs and hello slippers!!

Spring fits came over me this morning until it started to snow again, heavily this time until squirrels disappeared from the backyard.

Oh well, spring. Just like a dream waiting to be realised someday.

2010-02-22T18:55:00.002+08:00

It's another new day and of course a new week. Still can't accept the fact that reading week is finally and officially over. Time really flies and in a matter of two hours' time I'll be in the examination hall for chemistry.

Well, at least this reading week was well spent compared to the last one. A few buddies came down from everywhere (well UGuelph, downtown Toronto, Hamilton and UBC!!) came to this quiet little town for a visit =) Yeah bonding!! Had lots of fun..

Then, there was the ski trip to Blue Mountain. Blue Mountain's nice...especially the buildings. Skiing is fun, well at least better than skating where once you fall your buttock felt numb. The snow was much much thicker than the snow here in Missi and it was the first time I got to wear my boots...

Speaking of which, it feels like it's almost spring already. Tell me when it is, I am anticipating. Watching flowers bloom.

One of the very few times I wake up that early and watch the sun rises. Thanks Chemistry test...

2010-02-21T03:11:00.002+08:00

I understand now what my mum meant when she said good temper is important.

For the meantime, I am addicted to chips. Munching while studying.

I gotta get this right, just doesn't enter my brain at all..grrr

HAppy CNy

2010-02-14T00:10:00.003+08:00

This Chinese New Year, 180 degrees from home, in a land so cold and so full of blondes... you just won't have the mood to celebrate CNY...

It's 12am in Malaysia now. By this time, there should be multitudes of fireworks shooting up into the sky and probably will last till 12.30 at least. My house should be in red lights by now too, candies and cookies probably aren't out that soon, or maybe they are.

Reunion dinner passed by without me this year and next year, for the next three years. No new clothes this year, no visiting with family and a group of friends, no keropok + acar, no prawn rolls...for the next three years...

Survival in Canada is tough, really tough...for the next three years

Oh well, Happy Chinese New Year!!! May this year bring new hope and happiness to everyone...not to mention health...it's all the H...hoho

2010-02-12T11:10:00.002+08:00

One month ago, I bought this book, Dear John by Nicholas Sparks.

And one month later, today, I finally finished the book after the tonnes of exams, assignments and lab reports.

The story, was a touching one. As always, Nicholas Sparks presented true love in a way that you can feel it deeply in your heart. And this one is another marvellous one, after The Notebook.

Well, simply, how far would you go for your love, what does true love mean?

This book, shows how what true love is. Kind and not jealous, but rather seeing someone you love happy even it means to hurt yourself.

And I am glad I did not regret buying this book

2010-02-04T09:53:00.004+08:00

It's been a long time it last snowed and finally it did again today. Winter is not that cold in Toronto this year. Well, I wonder when will the snow melt away again like the yesterdays but nothing lasts forever right?

And so while it lasts, I took a snap of it this morning. Opened my door and the breeze shot right through me...the neighbours passing by must be thinking I am nuts or sakai =D

Nothing lasts forever, even memories fade. Or is it that humans choose to forget?

2010-02-02T08:08:00.004+08:00

I didn't realise today is the first day of February until now. It's roughly two weeks to Chinese New Year but sadly I have to celebrate Chinese New Year in a faraway land, so far away from home.

My first Chinese New Year away from home. Four years continuously I won't be able to go home for reunion dinners and visiting and all the keropok eating.

After four years I will be 23 and things will be different, pretty much different. CNY felt different when I was a child and it felt different when I am a teen. How would CNY be when I am an adult...

Oh well, 4 years. Some people say it would be over soon. Well I sure hope so.

Anyway, I nearly forgot that today is 2nd February in Malaysia already. So, dad, if you are reading this, this post is dedicated to you. Happy Birthday and May God Bless you always! Love you forever and ever =)

Koizora

2010-01-30T22:36:00.003+08:00

Koizora.

A really nice drama. Not to mention a touching one indeed. Prepare more tissues while you watch this drama. A tear-jerking romantic story that shows the power of true love.

I haven't watched the movie yet. But according to reviews, both had different plots and different actors and actresses as well.

Mizuzawa Elena is pretty!! I don't really like Seto Koji anyway...i guess Miura Haruma's better.

Upcoming...Koizora the movie!!

=)

2010-01-30T13:37:00.004+08:00

Can a smile hide you from all your sorrows?

I guess I did pretty well today.

2010-01-28T08:53:00.004+08:00

Biology 153. A new course. Diversity.

The laboratory in this course requires the skill of handling a microscope. I love the microscope very much. Probably because of its ability to let me see the things that are invisible to the naked eye.

Don't you think that's exciting? Seeing this that you can't see normally even though most of the time those organisms look a little weird but imagine that we are made of all these components to become a 5-foot tall creature (well for me).

As vast and diverse, this world is a really crowded place. Lots of new things to discover. Different organisms with different characteristics, just like humans.

Biology 153...looking forward to it...

Fortune cookie

2010-01-27T02:22:00.004+08:00

These cookies are really cute and can be found in most Chinese restaurants here..the fun of breaking them apart and the curious feeling you get when the paper comes out. Hoho...I just can't wait to break another fortune cookie open!!

2010-01-22T03:54:00.006+08:00

Life is like a sine graph. There's up and there's down. And notice that up is always followed by down and then up again.

Life is like a flight of stairs. Taking one step at a time

Life is like a maze. Just when you think you've found the right path, another path opens up to you.

Life is just like a puzzle. Only when you put the pieces together and see it as a whole, then you realised life is beautiful.

Life isn't as easy as you think when you were a child. Things get complicated along the way. As they say, innocence is bliss.

But as you cling on to the solid rock, lay down your worries on His cross, you might find some of life's missing pieces that you have been searching for all this time.

Matthew 7:7 "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.

All you have to do is just ask.

2010-01-20T00:38:00.003+08:00

Caught in a dilemma.

Caught in a confusion.

No words came out, whisperless just like a calm evening.

What can I do besides this,

I felt useless...this is all materialism i tell you. Human nature.

Disappointed. Hopeless.

Disappointed with myself for doing nothing.

Either way, I will be drowned.

The path not taken.

I realised

2010-01-07T23:04:00.003+08:00

I realised...

As you get older, decision makings have become harder. You know the responsibility's there for every decision you make. So you tend to think, more than twice. With certain reasons, every choice you made gives u a feeling of uneasiness and anxiety.

I realised...

I was happier back then. I am still figuring out...so don't ask me why. Somehow, I was more free to move about and not stuck in this room of mine.

I realised...

That you cannot trust anyone too easily. What you see might not be what you think it is. Appearance versus reality?

I realised...

Staying in Canada is not so fun after all. Snow is nice, but the wind....cold.

I realised...

that people are hard to be satisfied or pleased.

I realised...

some things should never be revealed. or people might hate you for it.

I realised...

the fact that I never miss **** before...the fact that I actually miss the rest...and I think I know why.

I realised...

in my 19 years of life, I would want to undo quite a lot..

And finally I realised,

that everything happens for a reason.

And so, I look back...smile...and hope

2010-01-06T03:22:00.002+08:00

Falling sick in a place so cold and 180 degrees far from the comfort of your home is hard.

*Cough, cough*

This is hard. Being independent. Taking care of yourself, knowing that you are alone to face the world.

Come on, 19 years. It's time. In fact, it's way past the time.

First step is always the hardest. But I believe I can make it.

Worse comes to worse, I shall and I will. Sometimes humans just need to be pushed by circumstances. Let this be a resolution to be achieved.

Tomorrow's a brand new day

2010-01-04T12:38:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow's a brand new day.

The start of another semester. Time flies too fast. I need to stop to catch my breath. Would it be okay if i do...i'll just be way behind.

Coming to 5 months in Canada. A lot of things changed. Frequent to less frequent. Bad to worse.
My skin...is really terrible now.

Over the holidays I enjoyed a lot. Niagara Falls, watching movies alone in a cinema due to overflowing people...countdown with a bunch of friends from over the places in ontario. NICE!

Once again, when there's good there's also bad. Things that you don't want to mention...so I won't mention. =)

Overall, holidays pass by too fast and I'm thirsting for more. But I guess it's time to brush that rusty brain of mine for now before the next holiday comes up.

I'm looking forward to Summer holidays...see u soon Malaysia...in another 5 months' time.

Holy Family

2009-12-28T04:07:00.002+08:00

Today my church celebrates Holy Family. And what I found the priest said during the sermon was really meaningful even though halfway through I accidentally fell asleep. Surprisingly though, I slept for more than 8 hours already and still feeling sleepy.

Back to the topic, Holy Family. And the priest reminded everyone that your family is the closest neighbour that you can have and that God has given. "Love your neighbours as I have loved you.." Sometimes amidst the darkest moments of our lives, families are the ones who'll stick with you and pull you through.

So, never miss a chance whenever you can be with your family. Family is the greatest treasure on earth. Treasure them well...=)

Experiences

2009-12-18T06:33:00.004+08:00

So caught with a lot of things that I didn't realise the sky got a little darker until I looked out of the window. Pretty dark and so I thought it was 4pm already when it was only 2.30 pm.

This phenomenon I heard of when I was studying Geography in secondary school. During winter, nights are longer than days, for the areas in the northern hemisphere of the earth. But I used to imagine how it would be like when I was still in high school. Only that now I get to experience it myself. And it was pretty far from my imagination. Experience.

Experience. An important element in life. So far, I've experienced two different climates, I've seen and touched snow. There are more to come. I'm going to visit the renowned Niagara Falls, make a snowman (wait till the snow is thick enough), celebrating Christmas in an ang-moh country. These are all the good ones.

Bad experiences. They are nevertheless, important in our lives, for they are the ones that will shape our future and probably motivate us. Tons of bad experiences in my life as well.
I've suffered betrayal, heartbreaks and sarcasm from people surrounding me. But they are the ones that make me realise that life is not as easy as it seems to be. And most importantly, never judge someone until you really know them.

Experiences. They give me the power to move on with life and no matter how much I would like to turn back time, experiences tell me to keep moving forward. More are to come. Well somehow, if I don't stop now, I'll have a bad experience during Physics test tomorrow...

Tata...

2009-12-17T10:55:00.002+08:00

For no reason, I just can't log into Facebook..

HMM...

maybe it's time to get back to Physics (? ?)

Wintertime

2009-12-14T03:46:00.002+08:00

It's winter already. Snow everywhere and it's pretty hard to walk around. Nearly slipped a few times on my way to church today. =D

At the centre of McLuhan court

My first shoe print on the snow =)

Snow is nice (I hope I will still say this after this winter). But when it gets too cold, all you want to do is snuggle up in bed and drink Tim Horton's hot chocolate!!

2009-11-28T08:14:00.004+08:00

It was after all the quizzes..somemore it's FRIDAY

As a result of stress accumulated over the weekdays and frustration to the 'all-the-time-proving' Calculus teacher (really blur!!!), a few of us skipped his class. I can be counted as one of them

I skipped halfway, not up to halfway even, a quarter (waseh..so proud to say eh??). Anyway, I had a 'lesson' in Square One today instead.

Christmas season is filling the air...yippie...can't wait for christmas!! And which was the reason I came here. To stock up and get prepared for the coming winter...BRrr...

Had some more things to buy. Winter hats...

Before the shopping began, we (Grace and I) had something to eat first...wohoho...KFC..yummy chicken..And found these cute reindeer and a toy soldier at the centre of the food court...

I hope it's Christmas time soon!! Weeee....

2009-11-20T05:41:00.001+08:00

"... that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. You have to agree that you are less and that someone else is more to feel inferior. If you don't agree, you can not possibly feel inferior. You might know something less, or you might be able to do something less, but you ARE unique and hence simply incomparable. Do not buy into being reduced to an object of comparison."

Got this from the facebook application and found it really true so i want to share it with everyone who happen to stumble by.

Seems to me that everyone gets affected by others somehow and I am no exception. But just a reminder to everyone as well as to myself that no one can affect you if you don't allow them to.

Everyone is indeed unique and there's a reason why, biologically and theologically. Even if you don't feel that you are super talented or you keep thinking like "why is that guy so much better?" or "owh..how i wish i could be like that..."

Well, whenever you feel that way, it's better that you look at what you have rather than what you don't have. And there's no point of comparing in life. Life's fair even if you don't see it that way but it is.

So, shrug that thought off your mind and hey look you have a hidden spot of talent that you've never realised before when all the time you are spending your time envying what others have that you don't.

I wish

2009-11-19T12:57:00.002+08:00

I wish time would slow down a little. Lately when things overwhelm you, time just keeps going faster and faster and it is really hard to catch time.

I wish that I can once again become as young as 6 years old, before everything in my life started, when life is just about playing Barbie dolls and playing 'doctors' or maybe a little hopscotch.

I wish that I am back at home, a place where I can call heaven on earth. A sanctuary, comforting and warm even though it lacked lustre physically, but it's the greatest place where I would want to be.

I can't bear the truth that I am already nineteen. Recently my cousin has just got married. A cousin of my age. And I thought a lot...the responsibility she has to take...oh gosh.. that's definitely too much. Someone of my age, yet very different lives. Studies are enough pain to me already but being a wife at 19? Really big responsibility!

And so I see how different our lives can be and I think...will I be able to cope with everything? With the blur mind of mine..?

When will I be....but right now I just want to be a toddler again

2009-11-15T00:39:00.002+08:00

What you don't know won't hurt you

I've stopped asking because I don't want to feel intimidated.

The thing about giving

2009-11-10T23:01:00.005+08:00

From last week's sermon:

The thing about giving is not on how much you can give, but how much you are willing to give.

Let's say, a rich woman and a poor widow giving donations to the church. The rich woman gives an abundance and a big sum of money while the poor widow, hardly has anything to eat after losing her husband, gives her last coin to the church.

Now which one is the most noble?

Of course, the poor widow.

The thing about giving is not about giving what you have in abundance but what you can give even though it might hurt you.

Sometimes, we tend to give people what we don't want anymore and keep the things we want to ourselves even though some people might need it more than we do. And this, we don't realise.

But if you should try one day, to give someone something that you might want it for yourself, trust me, you'll gain more than what that person gained.

I know I have sinned

2009-10-19T10:05:00.003+08:00

There must be some time for God, it doesn't matter how busy we are with our lives.

Even if we have not enough time for everything, God is always on top of everything else. This is what I want to have in myself.

So, despite the unfinished overbearing work load, and despite being new to this new piece of land, I went to attend mass, all alone today.

The temperature was 0 degrees and steam coming out of my face as I puffed my way to the church. The first bus was 9.11am and the mass started at 9am. Once again, despite being late...it's still better late than never, I told myself. I only knew there was a 9am mass.

And so I went into the small but comfy church. People standing up in the pew as I quietly slide into one of them, and at the same time, mumbling the Apostles Creed. Gosh...so late!!
Anyway better late than never...hehe..

Things were almost the same I guess. Felt a little different from the way people exchanged peace with one another. I just followed what they did. Apparently I can't escape from being a newbie and I guessed the person next to me noticed that.

Well, even though I was half an hour late, I'm really glad I made it there and at the same time took note of the times for masses. I shall go to the 10.30am one next time.

As I kneeled down before Him today, I gave all my burdens in my heart and a water welled in my eyes for a while..I know I have sinned...

Caught red handed?

2009-10-15T11:16:00.002+08:00

As stated in the ResNet terms and conditions, no downloading of songs or movies or anything copyrighted allowed.

And I just did....few minutes ago...

Suddenly when I was browsing facebook, this browser popped up..."Toronto Criminal Lawyer"...

My heart skipped a beat...I was wondering a few songs won't kill..hrm..

And so...after skimming through the article....

CHEH!!!

It was for criminal offences like sexual assault...

And....PHEW!!!

What hurts the most?

2009-10-14T04:22:00.006+08:00

"You may stand a chance of being marked"....

BANG...right there in my face as everyone shuffled out through the door of KN 137.

Alongside was Mathew and Grace, both equally trying their best to swallow her words and at the same time, trying not to accept what had just shot into our delicate ears.

My eyes dazzled for a while..ok..I spent quite an extensive amount of time on the whole thing of evolution and now due to this stupid mistake...I'm going to get a 50/50 percent chance of my scantron sheet being marked...right...that sounds fair..NOT!!!

Tat was the end of biology mid term exam....and I was left speechless...

Anyway, after that stressing moment, I went out to South Common to find my church. It has been more than a month and I finally took the initiative to find one..Nevermind, I shall tell myself it's never too late..

Have been seeing this church when I passed by Burnhamthrope Rd several times already and so after several days of investigation, I took the time to try my luck.

And there it is...The St Ignatius of Loyola Catholic Church..Pretty small...

But nice...it's just beside a Loyola Catholic Secondary School..5-minute-walk from the bus stop...

For now this will be my church...Finally...

2009-10-09T10:03:00.005+08:00

Took a trip to Golden Square and had some Chinese food yesterday. Super nice...it was quite some time already since i last had Chinese food.

Got a little sick of the food here. The on-campus food leaves me not much choice and it was after the stressing, suffocating chemistry quiz...so a little chinese food relieves me of everything before facing my first mid term test...

A little Chinese tea makes you feel nice and warm, physically after strong blows of wind from the outside....sip....aaah...

And so...pictures say a thousand words...See how happy Grace and Wei Wei are with the Chinese tea? Filled to our hearts content...

Mid term

2009-10-09T10:01:00.002+08:00

Mid term tests start tomorrow...with Calculus...phew..

I still can't grip hold of it well..still slippery...

I hope everything will be fine tomorrow..

Good luck to everyone sitting for exams.....

A long sunday

2009-10-05T06:33:00.003+08:00

A long Sunday, not so well spent though. Made a trip to the library but was not as fruitful as I expected it to be. I still don't understand Calculus. =(

The temperature today was as low as 9 degrees. Guess that contributed to my sleepiness. I just felt like slipping into my comforter and snoozed.

But lately, I preferred the library as a place of solitary. Feels like heaven to me, a place where I can be myself...

Stayed only for a few hours, before I ended my day with a cup of soothing, hot chocolate from Starbucks.

My cuppa hot chocolate amidst my pile of files

Things I don't usually say

2009-09-28T10:59:00.003+08:00

The whole idea of 'life is unpredictable' popped into my head once again as I spotted a dead deer across the road behind Mc Luhan court.

A few moments ago, I was taking pictures of them, grazing happily at the backyard of Mc Luhan court and in the next few moments, one of them was dead, knocked down by a car.

How unpredictable life can be sometimes, this I would like to imply. And life lies in God's hands. If it's time it's time. Same goes to other things and this is why we don't need to fret or worry too much about what will happen in our lives but just by focusing on the present, we are doing ourselves a favour, and a big one indeed.

And so..sometimes I don't get to say the things I wanted to say and I really don't want to lose any chances that I have..

I just wanna say....

I Love and Miss my family very much!!

Cycling to Erindale Park

2009-09-26T09:14:00.005+08:00

After a tiring Friday, I went to rent a bike together with Mathew and Philip. It has been a long time since I cycled. So I gave it a shot...

I fell once...into the bushes...It didn't really hurt but there were a lot of people passing by...not to mention the embarassment. But everything subsided when someone asked me how I was....lovely canadians...=)

We left our bikes on the grass at Erindale Park...and lay on the grass with some white-striped clovers underneath us

Our shadows at 4pm

Once again, I went to Erindale Park...cycled there...lots of cars that time but it didn't really matter..there's a path for bicycles.

Sweet, relaxing time...

Nice clouds hovering above me as I took this picture...Another weekend has come and another week has gone by as I stepped into my third week of university life...

Anticipating more to come...

Perfecto...

2009-09-24T10:50:00.003+08:00

After a really suffocating and stressing time in Chemistry tutorial, I decided to go out and just explore the surroundings of my university. Take some fresh air and another purpose: to find a church.

I was joined by Mathew. He popped out of nowhere in front of my house. Anyway, if it wasn't for him, maybe i'd have freaked out when i see the cemetery. It's my first time in one..

St Peter's Anglican Church

Then we walked on since it's a nice weather and I seriously need some destressing after that chemistry report that kept me up until 3am and the freaking hard chemistry diagnostic test. And so we walked on...until we finally reached Erindale Park...

It is a really nice park...very green and soothing...and there's a playground too...sweet~

Somemore, it has a river known as 'The Credit River". The water was cooling, fresh and clear. People were fishing there too.

The Credit River

Mathew...beside the river

The whole time, I had been trying to figure out how to throw the stones so that it would just skid above the water.

A maple leaf on a rock in the river

It was a lovely evening, which ended perfectly on a smooth note...

2009-09-23T11:28:00.002+08:00

Rushing for chemistry report but I have no idea...absolutely nothing to write about in the discussion. What my results mean...a vague question which I've answered in my calculations.

Due date...tomorrow...and it's half an hour's time to midnight. Lately it's past midnight sleep and midnight snacks. Gah...unhealthy style of living. Grace might disagree...XD

Anyway, it has been a crazy day today.

Chemistry report awaiting...chemistry quiz awaiting...how come there's not many holidays here...

I've been ranting too much lately...Uni life is supposed to be more relaxed according to ajay..but..

Maybe I should just chill...

Life is bittersweet

2009-09-11T10:22:00.002+08:00

Life is bittersweet

One moment you're on top of the world and the next...you're in the deepest valley in the planet

It's just a mixture of feelings I get these few days

It's only the third day of school and I already find myself swimming and drifting along in the sea of homework and reviews

Gasping terribly for air...let me out...I'm still stuck

Forever maybe, in a world of my own.

There's that time...

2009-09-08T06:48:00.005+08:00

Time flies fast...and tomorrow, I'll be starting my classes which, marks the beginning of my first year in university.

Anticipating, worried, excited, scared, lost...mixed feelings..

Biology...I love biology. Bought this bio book that is freaking thick and heavy. Evolution, I hate you. I remember falling asleep in Ms Fikar's class. Natural selection, bottleneck situation and founder's effect. Charles Darwin...why?

And then there's physics...

Spin brain spin...it's already so rusty...haizz

Still have to grab Chemistry and Calculus books...and CRA to be done...

2009-09-06T14:37:00.003+08:00

Life will at times be difficult, often it is painful, and for now it is imperfect. But still it is good, for in all these things nothing can separate us from God’s lavish expressions of love (Rom. 8:39). — Julie Ackerman Link

Yes..most of the time it's true. And it all goes back to the proverb "The grass is always greener on the other side".

Somehow, people are never satisfied and most of the time, we hurt ourselves by comparing what we don't have with what others have.

This, definitely hurts. But at the same time, you do not realise and truly treasure what you have right in front of you.

We make things complicated in life by doing so. Labelling and materialism...all human's greatest flaws..

Sometimes I don't realise I make that mistake myself and so, I now truly love UTM very much.
Everything happens for a reason and it's God's gift to us. Everything we have, everything we do.

Food tour...continued

2009-09-02T09:24:00.005+08:00

I really miss Malaysia's food..I miss my mummy's home cooked food.

Today was the last day of the new students orientation and the last event was a trip to the Sheridan Centre (a shopping mall nearby the campus) and there was a food court there. What I found was....a chinese hawker stall...so mesmerized by the menu...and so i ordered a bowl of wanton noodle soup which costs CAD 3.29. No converting allowed..thanks.

But, it was really tasteless..not like the food back in Malaysia.

All I eat here for the past few days are bread, muffins and more bread...stuffs that are full of carbohydrate...and I'm getting sick of it! Don't even tell me about muffins anymore =(

Remember the food tour I took? This is an update of the food list.

2. Kolo Mee

3. Satay (FAILED!!)

4. Doughnut (Malay-style) (Didn't manage to grab a snap of it)

5. Curry Puff (Same case as the doughnuts)

6. Popiah

7. Mee Lin

8. Chendol + Rojak + Prawn chips (Photos not available)

9. Teh Tarik (FAILED!!)

10. Char Kuey Tiaw (FAILED!!)

11. Fried Noodles (wet)

12. Laksa Sarawak...ooohh yummy

13. Kokoberry's Pearl Milk Tea

Notice that the plastic on the cup~ it's VIRGO!!

14. Tau-fu-hua and soya tang yuen

I'm hungry now after posting all those pictures...saliva dripping..gotta wait for another 8 months before I can taste these foods again...sobs...

McLuhan

2009-09-01T11:48:00.003+08:00

It's August 31, Toronto time...and it's moving-in time...Mc Luhan court is nice..not bad..but I still prefer Oscar Peterson Hall =(

Anyway, I got a lot of cards today ( U-pass, T-card, access card, laundry card...) and it's orientation time after moving in...spent lots of time figuring out what those people are trying to say.

Met a few Malaysians here...(not bad) and had a crazy night at "the underground"...hmm...

Finally done with the unpacking and tidying up of my room...loving it every moment..especially the door sign!

A cute whale...not so whaley-like though

My bed before
and..
..
..

after cleaning up

Hehe...my study desk...

Gotta stay here for another 8 more months...yippie~

Toronto...OMG!

2009-08-30T09:41:00.005+08:00

I can't believe I'm in Toronto

Toronto...I like this place really much...nice weather. Even the end of summer's colder than the weather you get in Malaysia.

I like the bricky or woody buildings..not much cars around here..lots of pretty flowers. Canadians are friendly too..they greet you whenever you enter the shop...

Sandalwood hotel

Only one shocking thing...there's a law here saying that you shouldn't stand beside the road. I was like "Huh? Is he joking?"...Apparently there's a fine of CAD 150 for standing beside the road when me and Mathew wanted to take a snap of the scenery while waiting for the bus to arrive.

And yeah..the policeman wasn't kidding when I saw this lamp post. Oh yea..normal lamp post..but look again..closer this time...

It says "Automatic Video Surveillance" and right above there's a camera over me..hmm...okay..hmm

I just can't wait to move into the residence..

2009-08-28T09:07:00.002+08:00

I can't believe it...I'm in Dubai already!!

Going Toronto soon...woohoo!!

2009-08-20T11:31:00.003+08:00

Almost there..

Once again..tick tock tick tock..time is ticking really fast that I can't quite catch up with it.

Packing? Not quite done..yet it's just a few days away..Mixed feelings..I don't quite understand myself now..

Yesterday bought quite a lot of things for Canada including these two tags for my bags..woohoo!

My 10-day food tour

2009-08-16T11:42:00.003+08:00

See how much I can achieve within 10 days. Made a list of food that I must eat before leaving Miri and Malaysia.

1. Nasi Lemak (I ate this for breakfast this morning at Kaya and Toast, Jln Post Miri..not so bad but it is recommended to eat when u are really hungry)

2. Kolo Mee

3. Satay

4. Doughnut (Malay-style)

5. Curry Puff

6. Popiah

7. Mee Lin

8. Chendol + Rojak + Prawn chips

9. Teh Tarik

10. Char Kuey Tiaw

11. Fried Noodles (wet)

12. Laksa Sarawak...ooohh yummy

13. Kokoberry's Pearl Milk Tea

14. Tau-fu-hua and soya tang yuen

I hope I can manage to finish everything on my list!

Things to do if you're bored....only a suggestion

2009-08-13T23:47:00.003+08:00

It was the dead of the night and I had nothing better to do so I googled a list of 'things to do when you're bored' to see if I could get some inspiration for the days to come. Here's the list which I think is kinda amusing and weird..

1. Blink wildly and then close your eyes really tight for an interesting light show

2. See how long you can hold a note

3. Try to not think about penguins (err...why penguins??)

4. Use your secret mind power

5. Pretend you're a robot

6. Scratch yourself

7. Rate passers by

8. Repeat the same word over and over until it loses its meaning

9. Pinch yourself

10. Try to swallow your tongue

11. Pretend to be a car

12. Get yourself as nauseated as possible

13. Invent a weird twitch

Okay..maybe I should go to sleep...interested anyone??

2009-08-12T21:40:00.003+08:00

Once again I felt time flying past me at the speed of light. Here I am again after a week in Penang, Ipoh and KL. In another two week's time I'll be heading to the wonderful country I've been aiming for for the past one year.

Though lethargy is creeping up on me, I really had a wonderful and memorable time in Penang and Ipoh. Soon we'll be going our ways and the usual heartbreaking stuffs are going to happen. Separation is as unavoidable as aging.

Didn't take much photos before the battery went dead but I mananged to grab a few.

Friends buddies...we'll keep in touch!

The Gift

2009-08-04T17:25:00.002+08:00

Another great book by Cecilia Ahern - The Gift

Beautifully written and it emphasizes on the appreciation of every moment of your life. Leaves you feeling more appreciative of your family and friends. Time flies and will never turn back so savour every second of your life.

It has a touching ending as well! *Thumbs up*

A special dedication

2009-08-03T17:47:00.002+08:00

I don't know what to say when I thought I knew

But all I could do is repeating over and over again the same thing

I could lend my ears but that's all I can do

Hope you feel better

Trust that everything happens for a reason

And the reason is always for the best of us

Time is the best healer and it works :)

Finally done..

2009-07-29T14:03:00.004+08:00

Due to boredom, I bought a DIY cross stitch handphone pouch and it's finally finished. I lost track of how long I've been doing this thing but I'm certainly satisfied and glad with my own work :)

The front part of the pouch

The back - a little heart for deco

Phew..this is one eye-straining activity but I'm loving the moment I finished it!

Canada

2009-07-28T14:10:00.002+08:00

Canada..

A place I've never thought of going or will be going.

It's a really beautiful country and a place where gay have their rights (tee-hee).

How can I say...I'm just overwhelmed by a mixture of feelings and the first-times; my first time experiencing winter, first time so far away from home, first time I'm going to live in a land where rice is not a staple food..and the list goes on.

Counting down the days to this foreign yet astounding place.

Miri beach

2009-07-19T20:07:00.006+08:00

After few days of boredom, I finally get to go to the beach. It has been months since I last stepped on this part of town. Nice weather today; not so sunny and most of the time cloudy.

This place has really changed a lot! The old playground has been replaced with newer ones. Those swings and see-saws are gone..even the choo-choo train near the banyan tree. Just too bad..

We snaked our way towards the beach. At least the jetty is still there.

This picture reminded me of...those times in prefect camp building sandcastles and protecting it :)

Nice stream...

which finally leads to the big big blue sea, South China Sea

A nice pattern from the crabs along the beach. Tiny pellets of sand.

And along the beach too are Pokok Ru..which reminds me of the Form 3 Geography project :)

Nice waves..reminds me of Sunway Lagoon

Another great work by nature...

This crab is cute...been swept by the currents onto the rocks.

And lastly before sunset, I made a footprint in the sand..which reminds me of the story 'Footprints in the sand'.

Somehow, this trip to the beach gives me reminiscence of the little jigsaw puzzles in my life. And I guess I wouldn't be able to go to beaches for a while now. Till next time...

one long day

2009-07-12T16:01:00.007+08:00

It was a long day yesterday. Got up as early as 6 am not for cartoon this time, but for my Visa medical check-up. I have been x-rayed twice this month (Gosh..).

Anyway at 1 pm, I met up with my old buddies; Amy, Kee Hee, Agnes and Mathew at X-cuisine. The service was slow but we filled the time by talking and talking and talking.

After that, my parents picked me up and we head for our old spot, Pizza Hut since it was the last day my sister's gonna go back to her uni.

And so everybody was choosing what to order except for me because I can never make up my mind. XD

So i took all kinds of pictures while we were waiting for the pizzas to come. Had a snapshot of 'The Cheese' and 'The soup of the day'. Ok I admit it, I was just crappy.

After two slices, I just can't swallow anymore. And so after that, we headed off to.. The Weekend Market (my favourite!). Open only weekends (Friday till Sunday). They sell everything and this is my must-visit stall - the bookstore...or should I call it the magstore since they sell unsold magazines.

They sell them really cheap that even though the magazines are a month or more behind, it's still worth it.

I ended up buying Girlfriend's May issue. Spot Edward Cullen? My sister sure does. XD

Bought this DIY cross stitch kit from Siong Lee as well to fill up my time at home. I'm sure most of you understand what I meant. It's been a long time since I last cross stitched too.

Ah..precious moments :)

Tick Tock

2009-07-10T15:46:00.002+08:00

Tick Tock

In about two days' time, my sister will be leaving for her university and in about a month's time, I will be leaving as well if everything goes well. So my family took the opportunity when everyone's in to take a family photo.

TA DAH

I sure am gonna miss all of u!!