Just when it's about time

It's the last term of my undergraduate studies.

Just over dinner today, we were talking about our first year courses. About the bell ringer lab tests, about the activities we did in the labs. To look back now, I didn't really appreciate what I was doing. To me, education is a touch and go thing. I did it for the grades, I did it for my future, I did it because they told me that I need it. So when it was over and done with, I felt relieved.

And I felt that way for the following 3 and 1/2 years of university. Touch, then go. Without leaving any traces behind. When I was asked "How was school?", my answer would be, most of the time, "Great, but I can't wait to finish studies and graduate" and sometimes I would grumble a little on why I still have years to go through before I can graduate. I would be envious of people who are graduating soon and who are rejoicing over the few number of courses that they need to take for the term while I hurdled every course with difficulty and sometimes dragged myself through sleepless nights.

This went on for another few years.

Then at last, the very last year came. My final year - the year I have been anticipating forever.

Unlike many others who cannot wait to graduate as soon as possible, my heart began to sink everytime I think of graduation. After 4 long years I should maybe start planning a victory celebration for myself to mark the end of university life, to be finally free of my misery. But it just doesn't feel like celebrating anymore. Instead (and I know this sounds crazy), I started enjoying my classes. Every one of them. I remembered how I used to skip most of my classes in first year but now I long for Tuesdays and Thursdays (those are the only two days I have classes). Ironically, but true.

I LOVE SCHOOL!!

When people told me how envious they are that I only have two classes and that I am finally graduating and that they have years to go, I see myself in them and wondered if they will feel the same way I am feeling now or maybe it's just me.

There's no time for regrets. Well, there is no need for regrets. Even though the term is ending in 3 months, these 3 months will be the best 3 months of my university life.